


Scar

by Kavat



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Depression, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 16:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16067423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kavat/pseuds/Kavat
Summary: Dan has a scar across his left arm.





	Scar

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Phandom Fic Fest Bingo. Prompt: Depression.

Dan has a scar across his left arm. It’s not very big and most people don’t notice it. A straight thin line, maybe half an inch long, about three inches from his wrist. Placed on the right side so he can still see it when he turns his hand over. It’s fading now, it was never very deep and it’s been a year since he got it.

It had been an accident. He was putting a baking tray into a 250 degree oven and accidentally burned his arm on the top edge of the oven. It had hurt, a lot, he almost dropped the tray and he had muttered a long string of swear words under his breath, careful not to let Phil hear him. He would just worry too much. 

The scarring was not an accident though. He had burned himself while cooking before, Phil had too. It was way too common in this household for him to not know what to do to ease the pain and prevent ugly scars. You should run it under cold water for at least ten minutes. But Dan hadn’t done that. This time, he hadn’t felt like easing the pain. This time, he had welcomed it because it was distracting. This time, the pain had felt more real than anything he’d felt for a while. He hadn’t cared if it would leave a permanent mark on his skin.

It had kept burning for quite a while and the skin was red for a couple of days. He still hadn’t cared, even if Phil had offered a soothing cream that came in the first aid kit that he got from his mum when he first moved out. Dan had told him it was fine, that it didn’t really hurt that bad and it would fade quickly, don’t worry. 

The scar turned into a shiny shade of rosy red as the skin tried to heal it self. When the burn started to fade, he slowly began to realise what had happened. Why he didn’t stop the pain, or why he didn’t care if it would leave a mark. He had never been prone to self harm before, but this was the closest he’d ever been. In a way he had caused himself more pain than necessary and that was too damn close. It made him scared of what he could be capable of if things ever got worse.

That night he made a promise to himself, and to Phil, to never let it go that far again. Dan cried himself to sleep in Phil’s arms, getting his sleep shirt wet with tears. The next morning over breakfast Phil carefully suggested that they should start researching therapy and Dan agreed, nodding over his mug of coffee. Not only for his own sake, but also for Phil’s. He never wanted to see that scared look on his face again. He never wanted to be the one that caused Phil to worry.

It has been a year now, the scar has faded a little but he still remembers the pain. He remembers how he had wanted to feel it. Whenever things get bad it’s there, a physical reminder of where the line is. Of a place he never wants to sink to again. He can dig himself out of it, and he doesn’t have to do it alone.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever phanfic, a nice and cheery one to start off with. I very much welcome feedback as English is not my first language and this is unbeta'd.
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](https://kavat.tumblr.com/post/178356625777/scar)


End file.
